Avenue M on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/46023567/via/rebelontheinside
| ‘Amy Valentine on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/45846874/via/rebelontheinside
Okay, Clara is awesome, you can tell The Doctor likes her.
But can someone explain to me how she keeps dying and coming back to life in different time zones?
I think we have to wait 4 months for that answer!
im wallowing, sollow, ive just cut my arms several times, something i havent done in about a year. It barely hurt, i was too angry to feel anything, angry and my family, angry at the world and how it rejects me and made me, and at myself, and the people i used to think i could call friends, the ones who quickly turned their back on me without a care, like everything is going to do. Im losing everyone i had, just by trying to become myself. I’ve followed my path as much as i knew it and im left with nothing. Back home for christmas, in my room after an argument on christmas eve night, blood dripping from my arm and me crying to a friend in america begging her to explain why i cant kill myself. All those old emotions are back. The anger, the hate, and worse of all the jealous. In newcastle the picture of 3 girls on a nightout would hardly affect me. Here it turns my world upside down because im not in that position, i dont look like that, at all, but its not fair why i have to go through so much heartache just for a slim opportunity that i can be like that, in a few years time. Given the trigger id shoot myself, given the switch id blow up the world and erase the mess we made. Ive always been called vile, and horrible, and other put-down names by people at school, and at home, there was a time when i was getting abuse in both places, sometimes beaten in both too, but i couldnt understand what i was doing to deserve them, everything i was trying to be was for the benefit of other people, to make them happy and proud of me, only to hear my parents wished they had never adopted me. The more closed doors i open only the more i see and i realise, it was always just pain, nothing else, and nothing can take that away, no matter how often i lock those doors theyre there, theyre a reminder and they made me who i am, and i dont want to be that person anymore, i cant, i cant live as a shame to others, always living in the dark, judged, jealous of people with freedoms i will never possess, all the time sitting on some ticking clock that occassionally resets itself that is a countdown to when it gets too much. time after time i tried to kill myself, i tried to stab myself, slit my wrists, overdose, throw myself off a hill, but all the time it wasnt enough or i just couldnt do it. I guess im just a coward till the end. With no hope of getting anywhere i want. I need to hear that the people around me are going to stick by me, and help me as much as they can and be with me as much as possible. But most people so far have let me down. Theres no trusting anyone anymore.